We are not suppose to bury our children. Let me repeat that WE as in the PARENTS are not supposed to bury our CHILDREN. They are suppose to out live us. A few hours ago we were informed that a former coworker and friend of my husband will be burying his 16 year old son that had passed away in an accident over the weekend. His son and my son both the same age (his son is like 9 months older) got along great. Like super close friends great, except they weren’t friends. They rarely saw each other. In fact they had only met 3 times but you’d never have known that if you ever saw them together…. James and Jonathan. Every time they played they made plans for a sleepover and of course as the friendly parents that we are we all agreed but life happens. Those sleep overs never solidified. Our boys didn’t really use cell phones like that (at the time) so being an hour away with out each other’s xbox or ps ID means that no real friendship formed when they were apart.
The thing is regardless of if we had ever met the kid, or if we hung out with the parents the fact is my heart cries for them. I can’t in this life and hopefully not in the next life imagine what that pain feels like. My entire existence revolves around my kids. I left corporate America to make sure I never miss a single moment. Thank God I have this amazing opportunity to work from home or from anywhere so I can be at the games and the practices and pick them up from school. Even with all of that, shit happens. Things go wrong. It only takes one split microsecond to lose all that you work so hard for. All that you love.
It does not feel natural to have to bury a child. Not as infants, not as toddlers, not as kids, not as teens, and not even as adults. This is not suppose to be or feel normal. It is not a feeling any of us should ever have to feel. I’m not okay with the sadness I feel as I write this. Nobody wants to be in this club, and I don’t know why it exists.
I don’t ever in my life want to buy a condolence card for anyone who has lost a child again. I don’t want to feel sadness and I damn sure don’t want them to feel the pain from the loss. Because lets face it, there are 7 stages of grief and they will eventually get through all of them but that pain…. that will never go away, or fade or heal. You learn to live normally but you’ll always have that void.
Tonight I pray for the family, I sent them every ounce of positive vibes I can create. I pray that even on their darkest days the light will find them and guide them.
RIP Jonathan Young